You know what life’s like? Life’s like planning out your future to include a husband, kids, living in XYZ town with XYZ job….. and being 30 and single. Or planning on never getting married, living out of a tent in Africa, staring at the stars every night and being thousands upon thousands of miles from civilization (Ahem… this girl!)… and ending up living in the biggest city in the world and eating Ramen with your Husband while listening to the city wide PA system.
Life’s just like that! You have one vision in your head of what your future will be like, and then something happens. You meet someone, you get that job, you get into that school, you don’t meet someone, you don’t get that job, you don’t get into that school.
I know this isn’t the case for everyone… or at least it seems like there are people who have their whole lives planned… and it works out. Somehow or another they end up right where they wanted to be. Well, that’s not me! Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my life! I feel so grateful (most of the time 😉 )for where I am and what I’m doing, but hey, it’s NOT what I planned!
What are your plans?
You know what I have learned? We don’t know our lives! We don’t know what the world is really like! I can think “I’d love to live in Paris!” umm. I’ve never been to Paris. I cannot rightly comprehend what my life would be like there because I have no true knowledge of this experience.
We don’t have the comprehension or the knowledge to even know what we are MADE to do. As humans, we see what’s out there – size it up and say “Okay, of all these options I pick…… THAT one! That will make me happiest.” You know what God says? “Sweet child! You haven’t seen the half of it! My world is vast, it’s incomprehensibly amazing. It’s broken and beautiful, painfully beautiful… and I have a place for you in it. Not only that, I have a purpose for you in it! A purpose you can’t imagine because it has never existed before. Future YOU has never existed before. Come! Meet Me in your purpose! Only you can do it.”
You know what I routinely (figuratively) say to that “Okay God, I see Your promise of vague greatness…. and I’ll trade you for comprehensible mediocrity!” Because you know what?! I can understand and envision that! I can understand what it means to get a good job right out of school, go to work Monday through Friday, lake time on the weekends, throw in the occasional vacation to Disney, 3 kids and a dog and what could go wrong?
And you know what? None of that is wrong! NONE of it!
But let me talk to you like my best girlfriend for a bit… Let me tell you about how God made YOU! He saw your unformed being , he ordained ALL your days, each one of them is written in his book (1). He made you. He perfectly knows your heart. He perfectly know the tasks he designed for you to do in advance. (2)
You know what else?
He designed the WORLD. And everyone in it!
He knows your place in it!! He knows the things that make your heart sing, and He delights to give them to you! No person has discovered all the things in the world that would make their heart sing, yet God know them for you.
But, I’ve learned some important things about the things that truly make my heart sing.
#1) You usually have to go through places that are unimaginably hard to get there. Like, if you knew how hard it would be, you’d run away and never look back! (which, in retrospect may be why we don’t know them in advance???)
#2) My hearts longing is never fulfilled by what I think will fulfill it….
You know that Verse “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” (4) – Well, I always looked at this and though – “What does my heart desire? I desire XYZ, so if I delight myself in the Lord I will get that!”
But I have been totally missing it!!!!!! Guys!!!! This is the revelation that I have had: What this verse truly means to me is, “Delight yourself in the Lord, drink in all of his Glorious presence, His divine, perfect love for you, the promises He is speaking over you. Experience His immeasurable goodness and incomprehensible beauty. Taste…. and see…. this is the desire of your heart.” He will give you the desires of your heart, because the true desire of your and my heart is Him.
There is only one thing that truly makes my heart sing. And that is God Himself!
I think it’s gonna be that Pottery Barn couch. I think it’s gonna be that Dream Job. I think its gonna be a house, a dog, a baby…. But when I get the things I want…. they leave ME wanting. My hearts desire is never quenched with these. Because they were never meant to be heart quenchers. Only Jesus.
Have you had an experience like this? You think you want your life to go one way.. but the Lord gives you something totally different, and it ends up being exactly what you needed? (often because it’s totally hard and stinks and you end up running after Jesus and finding what you were looking for all along)
Tell me about it! I’d love to hear from you!
(1) Psalm 139:16 (2)Ephesians 2:10 (3) Mathew 7:11 (4) Psalm 37:4